Life After 'Gramps'

Amazingly, it is now more than six months since Bob Copper (my father - but affectionately known to all the family as 'Gramps') died, peacefully but quite suddenly, on 29th March 2004.

Obviously his sudden demise was a massive shock to everyone, especially as only four days previously my brother John, my husband Jon Dudley and I had been with Bob at Buckingham Palace to proudly witness Prince Charles present him with the MBE. For a man of 89 years he was surprisingly well and in spite of osteoporosis not suffering any sort of pain. On the advice of previous recipients of similar awards, we requested a wheelchair because - as is inevitable at such events - there is a lot of standing and waiting around. So it is that the official photographs and video we now have in the family archives to commemorate this auspicious occasion show Prince Charles bowing down to Bob Copper to pin the medal on his lapel, shaking his hand and sharing a few words and a joke. As I believe Shirley Collins remarked at the time, it seemed to us very apt that even Royalty had to bow down to the greatest man in England!

For all the family, but particularly for Bob, this award was certainly one of the high spots in his long and full life. He had always been a great admirer of the institution of monarchy, so for him to be awarded the MBE and to have to go to Buckingham Palace to receive it from a member of the Royal Family was just about as good as it gets - as he said himself, "This is definitely the most important gig I've ever had!"

Three days after the trip to London we had a family party to celebrate. We booked into a local hotel for a 'slap-up' Sunday lunch with all the family. The menus were specially printed and we entitled the occasion "Gorging for Gramps' Gong" - we all did! Bob proudly wore his new medal and was well and very happy as he sat at the head of the large dining table in a private dining room surrounded by his whole family - children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It must have rated as one of the happiest days of his life...

The following day he died.

Although we found the suddenness of his passing difficult to come to terms with, for him the last memories he had were of two very happy occasions with the people he loved, and who loved him the best. So we feel thankful that he did not suffer in any way and went 'out on a high'.

So, how are we coping without him? Well, I think we are doing OK. We have had half a dozen gigs which, whilst being quite nerve-wracking to contemplate, have proved to be real fun and a great comfort. Our audiences have been especially kind, I think. But when we 'strike sound' and start to sing those old songs that are the wonderful legacy we are so privileged to have inherited we get such a sense of familiarity and belonging it's as if all our ancestors are joining in along with us - and that, of course, now includes Bob.

Happily all six of Bob's grandchildren have inherited a deep love of the repertoire and they are coming along to gigs more and more often. They all have great voices and are really good chums so I see no danger of the tradition dying out in the next generation.

My husband Jon and I have two grandchildren - Flinn who will be 2 years old on 1st January 2005 and Ruby who will be 1 year on 5th December 2004 - so another generation is already underway. We have also just heard that Lucy, my brother's daughter, and her partner Nigel are expecting their first child next year at the end of March. So I think the songs are in safe hands for quite a while yet.

You may like to take a look at a poem by Gramps, which seems especially appropriate.

Jill Copper - October 2004.